1. Amazingly, I have experienced a number of messes (care of my 1 year old) that even the famous Shamwow cannot touch. I guess everything has it's limits.
2. It is probably not a good idea to hand your car key to your baby, shut the car door, walk around to the other side of the car, snap your 3 year old in the car seat, and shut that door. I can assure you that it is doubtful that you will make it back to the other side of the car before you hear the click, click of a locking car.
3. If you do make the unfortunate mistake of the above, I can also assure you that there is no better feeling than convincing your 1 year old to hand the key to your 3 year old and then hearing the click, click of an unlocking car.
4. If you think that putting a movie in will give you plenty of time to take a quick shower...think again. During your 5 minute shower...your 3 year old will probably have to poo poo, your 1 year old will definitely dump his milk on the floor, and most likely every single tampon you own will be put in a pair of your husband's boots.
5. Do not underestimate the persuasive influence of an older brother...he can convince his younger brother to take a bite out of a shoe, give him his only Oreo cookie, and drink the bath water out of a Monster truck.
6. If you think it's a good idea to take your 1 year old's diaper off and then walk into his room to grab a new diaper/wipes, then don't be surprised by the "surprise" he has lovingly deposited on the carpeted floor.
7. If you have been dealing with sick kiddos all day and the first thing your husband asks when he gets home happens to be "is that a booger on your cheek" try your best to not get offended.
8. Don't ever think that you are having the worst day ever because just when you think it can't get any worse, you might end up on the losing end of a very bad case of diarrhea in both of your kids, or worst yet a stomach bug that causes your children to take turns throwing up in different places of the house.
9. Don't ever try to put your son (who is not exactly cooperating) in "time out" close to the automatic door at the entrance of the store. It is a little embarrassing when it continues to open and close showcasing your own private hell.
10. Do not ever serve blueberry applesauce to a toddler next to any piece of furniture, wall, or ceiling.
11. Always take pictures before a breakfast buffet, not after.
12. Don't ever leave the dishwasher door down because you will be surprised how quickly a 1 year old can climb on to it and begin to wave to you with a steak knife.
13. There is no sweeter sound than the sound of your children laughing together and it doesn't even matter that with that sound comes the knowledge that you are officially dead meat. : ) These two just make me smile. They make me smile even when I am dog tired and I look at the clock to find out that it is only 9 a.m. They make me smile even when I walk through a pile of sand that has randomly been unloaded in our living room. They make me smile even when I am catching bites of chewed up food in my hand. They make me smile even when the 30 minute bed time routine is now pushing an hour. They make me smile even when I realize I have been sleeping on top of 5 cheerios and a blue snake all night. They make me smile even when I have just picked up the millions of blocks, walk out of the room for two seconds, and then return to find the millions of blocks are back all over the floor. They make me smile even when I have seen a whole lot of poop and wiped a whole lot of bottoms and then I look at the clock to find out it is only 9 a.m. These two just make me smile from the inside out, blue snakes and all.
